Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Plastic teeth.

I am the proud new owner of…okay I’m not proud at all and I’m sad to say I wasted plastic on…a brand new night guard for my teeth! My dentist has told for the last two years I am wearing away the enamel on my teeth (said in a stern and disparaging voice) from…grinding them at night?...nice guess doc, but I don’t grind my teeth…okay clenching them!?…ding-ding-ding. I clench my teeth, what can you do, life gets to be stressful sometimes. But don’t worry she said the answer is simple—plastic!
I put her off for a year. I bought a sports mouth guard for $4, that piece of plastic didn’t last a night; it made me gag in my sleep. So, last week I was fitted and today—today the big day—a sleek new clear plastic replica of my teeth in reverse arrived. I’m ashamed to say how much I paid for such a thing, but it does fit my teeth like a glove and I got the plaster mold of my teeth to boot!
Now my teeth will be swaddled in plastic every night…where will it end I ask you? Next, I’ll probably need contacts and a hearing aid! No more doctor's visits fir me.
So, no fun reused energy efficient air conditioner for me, wasteful old plastic tooth mold—humpf. But at least my teeth and matching plastic guard will be able to keep each other company for eternity. Teeth are nature’s plastic after all—they last forever, if you don’t wear away the enamel that is.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Haha Er I just picked up my own set of plastic teeth today as well. Aaaand special bonus, I also got the mold of my teeth, too! I was thinking of you when I saw the mold and thought.. hmm should I ask him if I can have it? But I didn't even have to ask, today is my lucky day! Obviously bad for the plastic count, but good if I ever need to be identified by my teeth (morbid much??)
It also makes me feel lucky to live in a country where insurance actually pays for things- man I need to milk the system for all its worth before I come back to the land of the free and the home of pathetic health care!